White Sorrow

This week’s guest has an amazing tale to tell – of one woman’s mistake, downfall, abuse and subsequent strength.  My guest is the lovely Andrea Aviet, author of the book “White Sorrow”  … her story about domestic violence, emotional and mental abuse, starvation and what amounts to modern day slavery …  Andrea has published her book and spoken out  in an effort to motivate women stuck in similar positions to get out and to get their lives back on track. I caught up with this brave lady recently to talk about her book and her life now…. Hi Andrea….

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Hi! I am Andrea Aviet, I am 34, a mum to two girls and have written a book called White Sorrow.

“White Sorrow” is a true story of 5 years abuse you endured at the hands of your 20 stone husband & his family. What inspired you to open up and write about your experience?

I felt I must have endured the nightmare for a reason and wanted to make something positive out of it – I thought if I could inspire others to understand that domestic abuse of any form is not right, and should not be endured, then I would have put my nightmare to good use.

It must have been quite an emotional rollercoaster to write about your experiences – from being estranged from your own kin, forced into sexual encounters, suffering from emotional & physical abuse. What was the hardest part, you feel, about recalling/writing your experiences?

Writing the bits about my children. When recalling those parts of the books, even from being pregnant the first time, it often reduced me to tears. Even now I can’t read out the parts about my children without cracking a little. I recently did a reading that was being recorded for a video, and I had to stop, regroup and start again  – I was so overtaken by emotion.

Your subsequent strength shown after managing to leave your abusive relationship behind is commendable – managing to take control of your own life and making sure your two daughters are having a life filled with hobbies, laughter & love. What advice would you be giving to your own daughters when they grow up and have relationships of their own?

Have your eyes open. Don’t get swept along by romantic notion. Always have some financial independence. And if at any point you aren’t being treated right, get out.

You travelled the world a lot as a child – including time spent in India. What country impressed you most? What place is number one on your travel bucket list?

I absolutely love Australia – it was where I wanted to go when I met Mark and married him instead of going. That is still on my bucket list. I also recently visited the North East of England on business. I am determined to take my children there for a family holiday now as the coast is so beautiful.

As a child what books did you enjoy reading? What genre of books do you enjoy reading now?

I loved reading as a child and still do. I would read anything. I then studied political science at university so my reading was around my studies. Now I read good books, with strong stories. And novels, but only when I get chance around working, promoting my book and being a single mum.

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Hypothethically speaking, if “White Sorrow” was made into a film, which actress would portray you?

I would love to play myself to be honest – not because I aspire to be an actress but because it is about me. I think a young, dark haired actress would be good….someone like Selena Gomez. She would be good because she would act well but she would also appeal to younger generations and they would heed the warnings the book talks about.

The charity Refuge is close to your heart and you have spent a lot of time fund raising. There are many ways to fund raise -what is the wackiest fundraiser idea you’ve come across? Have you any favourite fundraising ideas?

To be honest my fundraising will all be done through book sales. I read about people doing crazy things all the time, and whilst I admire them, that is just not me! I wouldn’t want to ski down a mountain in a bikini or jump out of a plane. I have survived my own challenge already and am happy just donating proceeds.

Is your book, “White Sorrow”, available to purchase worldwide?

Yes, online. It is available on Amazon and other platforms.

Personal now – what outfits and shoes would you normally be found wearing?

I usually wear smart casual. Maybe jeans or leggings but with nice tops and jackets. Things that go from day into night, but that I am comfortable in for travelling or playing with my children. I usually wear boots but sandals come out in the summer. I am only small so heels are good, but I can’t walk far in them!!

Do you have any favourite shops or online sites?

Not really. For so long I didn’t have a disposable income or even money for food, so fashion took a backseat. I wore hand me downs that didn’t fit. Previous to my marriage I wore a lot of designer clothing and good makes of shoes. I don’t think I have quite got the bug back yet, and am too busy promoting the book and looking after my kids to do much personal shopping!

What’s next on your clothes/shoe wish list?

I want to take my children on holiday, and the summer seems to be coming, so I will be investing in a sun wardrobe!

Boots or Shoes? 

Boots – I don’t drive so I walk a lot. Boots just protect your feet more, are more comfortable and practical yet can look stylish and trendy.

Links you would like to share e.g. website/facebook/twitter etc so that readers of the blog can learn more about “White Sorrow”

My website is www.whitesorrow.com and you can find me on facebook.com/whitesorrow1

Thank you so much for coming on the blog and telling us about your book and life.  Your book has a powerful message – whether male or female – domestic abuse of this nature is just unacceptable.  I wish you every success with your book, and all the best in life from now on.  

Linda x

All photos have been published with kind permission from Andrea Aviet.

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18 thoughts on “White Sorrow”

    1. I admire her quest to help other women in similar situations by writing such a no holding back account of her own, too Margaretha. It takes a lot of courage.

    1. I’m glad that you liked the interview. I’m glad that she escaped and was able to write to help not only to readjust to life without fear but also to offer hope to other women in similar situations. Yes, she is very brave indeed – and a brilliant role model to her daughters.

  1. Andrea is so brave to share her story to help other women. I love her practical advice: ‘Have your eyes open. Don’t get swept along by romantic notion. Always have some financial independence. And if at any point you aren’t being treated right, get out.’ I agree completely but it is not an easy task to break free of an abusive relationship. Well done Andrea! and as usual terrific interview, Linda.

    1. I agree Molly – great practical advice. It is so easy to be swept away by romantic notion and a mentally abusive relationship can gradually occur over time. Trusting your gut feeling is so important as it is rarely wrong.

  2. What an amazing woman – and I bet it would be a fascinating read – I am always so impressed by women who can use the pain they’ve been through to help others.

  3. Such a brave young woman who has come through such a horrible situation. I admire her strength in sharing her story. I can’t imagine being in a relationship that is abusive – I’m very fortunate.

    1. It must have been very hard to put into words her experiences and to keep her self esteem in order to ensure that her daughters didn’t suffer any more than they had already.

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