I’m pleased to be part of the book tour for “Looking Past Dementia “ by Marysue Moses. Marysue is a dementia educator/consultant and a former memory care co ordinator. Dementia is a cause close to my heart because my father was diagnosed around the age of 64 and lived with dementia for 12 years . Marysue’s book made me tearful but also smile in places : memories good and bad of my own father’s journey with dementia. Oh how I wish this book was available when my father was diagnosed – it is packed with anecdotes, advice and practical tips galore. Before I introduce Marysue to the blog, here’s a quick book summary:
BOOK SUMMARY
In Looking Past Dementia, dementia educator Marysue Moses shares the powerful insights she has gained from more than twenty years working alongside individuals living with Alzheimer’s disease and other forms of dementia. Through deeply human stories, she challenges readers to look beyond symptoms and diagnoses to recognize the strengths, emotions and humanity that remain.
Publisher: Emerald Lake Books
ISBN-10: 1945847964
ISBN-13: 978-1945847967
ASIN: B0HDS1FWBL
Print length: 202 pages
THE INTERVIEW
Lovely to have you on the blog, Marysue. Please, introduce yourself. 😊
With pleasure! I’m Marysue. I’m a mother, a widow of 13 years, a sister, a first-time author with a theatre background, a volunteer, a dementia educator, consultant, and speaker, an Anglophile and a Shakespeare fanatic. I am in my mid-70’s (almost), but being the youngest of 5 in my family has always helped me feel delightfully younger than my actual age.
“Looking Past Dementia” is definitely an uplifting, thought provoking and practical guide/ resource to understanding people living with dementia and how to care and respect them as they are now. What made you decide to write down your powerful insights into Alzheimer’s and other forms of dementia?
I semi-retired from full-time work as the Dementia Program Coordinator for Ebenezer Management Services in November 2022. I had been working full time in the field for about 26 years – after a switch from full-time theatre-related work. I found myself thinking a lot about my mom as well as the many individuals living with dementia whom I had worked with in those early years when I had much to learn about dementia. These people were rattling around in my head, reminding me of the lessons they taught me. They seemed to be demanding to be written about! Hence, the book!
Your book highlighted for me how hard caring and living alongside someone with dementia can be, how the need for a supportive network is vital; managing family dynamics as well as the other various emotions and dilemmas faced; combined with moments of pure joy. Having experienced this firsthand with my father who had dementia, I always felt it was a roller coaster ride & I treasured the moments when he was almost normal, especially giving me away at my wedding and delivering a heartfelt speech that he wrote and prepared himself. I wish I had read this book to get some practical suggestions and advice before my dad died. What helped you get through your toughest moments when your mother was first diagnosed?
How lovely that your dad was able to give you away at your wedding and deliver a heart-felt speech! By the time my mom was diagnosed, she was living in Denver, CO, in a senior high-rise, and I was in Minneapolis, MN. The first tough thing was learning that she had asked the security guard to call her a taxi in the middle of the night because she needed to “go home”: to Junction City, Kansas. That would have been quite a long and expensive ride. And disappointing, if she expected to see her mother, father and brothers there. They were all long gone at this point, when my mother was in her late 70’s
In her first memory care community, my brother visited her one evening to find all the community members lined up in front of the TV watching a program called “Dangerous Dogs”—a horrifying depiction of the bites and wounds people of all ages, including young children, had experienced from vicious canines. My brother got Mom away from that TV ASAP, and she was moved out as quickly as that could be arranged. So, I was a long distance daughter and did not have to deal with many day-to-day tough moments. What helped me was that I was confident that my siblings were wonderfully supportive, and that I took it upon myself to learn as much as I could about dementia. After visiting Mom in another Colorado community, I saw the lack of engagement and became determined to improve that for her and others living with dementia.
Marysue, you are a Dementia Educator and consultant….what does your job entail?
As a Dementia Educator for Ebenezer Management Services, I offer training for care teams at various sites on dementia related topics along with care partner support group presentations. Outside of Ebenezer, I am registered as a business that offers training for care teams, observation/consulting at memory care sites, as well as presentations for conferences or organizations that serve caregivers and those living with dementia.
Were there any aspects of writing your book that surprised you, either by being harder or easier to relate than you expected?
I love writing, and I learned that I loved it even more when I began to write the book. It was exciting as well as moving to revisit how much it meant to me to learn about dementia from my mom and so many others. I realized how resilient my mother was as well as how deeply I had bonded with the individuals in my care. It was a gift to myself to spend time in my head in the company of so many whom I had loved.
I loved your writing style and the honesty that shone through. I particularly liked the story chapters written about Evelyn and Bill, about their feelings – it’s so important for them to have their viewpoint heard too. Did you find writing your book therapeutic?
Very much so. Emotions flowed freely as I wrote. Laughter, sorrow, tears and pride were all involved in giving these individuals a voice. I hope the lessons shared in my book will inspire curiosity and deepen understanding of the humanity of these individuals. Perhaps, as a result, the lessons I learned will inspire others to learn from those whom they care for, and trusting, meaningful relationships will flourish more easily.
Is “Looking Past Dementia” available to purchase worldwide?
Well, “worldwide” may be a bit of a stretch, but I am definitely on Amazon UK , Amazon Germany, and Amazon France. (I had some trouble setting up the link for Japan and need to try that one again!)
Growing up, did you always want to work in the caring/health sector or did you have other career plans?
Interesting question. The original plan was simply to be an actress. The theatre company I joined in Minneapolis (after a year of drama school in London) did very interesting work – some artistic and some more in the helping realm. We created a program called Touch to help kids talk more openly about sexual abuse. It was revolutionary and was toured extensively.
When I left Illusion Theater after about 16 years, a friend in the company joined me to form a company we named Theater at Work, which created theater-based trainings for businesses. We worked with expert moderators who commented on the scenes we wrote and performed about thorny workplace issues: sexual harassment in the workplace, hiring, discipline and termination, farm stress, the impact of domestic violence on the workplace, and even diversity issues – was way before diversity was as big a deal as it has now come to be in the states. So the helping motivation has been very prevalent in my career path! When video trainings became more popular and affordable for companies, we closed down. Not long after, Mom was diagnosed and my career in dementia stated to evolve with Tales from a Trunk, an interactive storytelling activity which I created so my mom and others in her community would have more to do that was engaging.
Outside of work, what are your hobbies?
I love going to live theatre, as well as movies. I occasionally play around with watercolor.
When it’s nice out and not too hot or too cold, I like to walk around the neighborhood and a certain lake not too far from where I live.
For several years, I have been a friendly volunteer visitor for a woman who is now on hospice. Sadly, she will not be around much longer. Soon I’ll be a visitor for someone living with dementia, in addition to visiting a dear friend who now lives in a memory care community.
While I haven’t done much of it lately, I enjoy memorizing Shakespeare, and will get back to that now that books tasks are calming down (some!). I like to be physically active, and have been taking a Community Ed. Tai Chi class for many years. I enjoy yoga (often with Adriene, if you know her!), and I get my cardio done on a stationary bike.
Personal now – what outfits and shoes would you normally be found wearing?
It’s end of summer here, and I’m typically in comfortable clothes – blue jeans, a short sleeved top, comfortable shoes, a sweater if there’s air conditioning wherever I’m going. I think my late husband used to tell me (lovingly) that I dressed like a 5-year-old, which brings me back to the answer for your first question! Of course if I’m presenting or going into the Ebenezer office, I’m a little more dressed up, but rarely will you find me in a dress or skirt!
Do you have any favourite shops or online sites ?
Chico’s Off the Rack (Their outlet stores are awesome!). I like to find sale items at REI. And Woolx is great for warmth and travel clothes.
What’s next on your clothes/shoe wish list?
I should probably think more seriously about expanding my repertoire of outfits to wear when I’m presenting! I will need new sneakers for sure for my next trip to the UK, which is not yet set in stone but I’m dreaming about. I like to traipse around stone circles. I’ve been a big fan of Avebury since my first trip there in 1976.
Boots or Shoes?
Shoes. Because while boots are cool to admire, I’m not a bootsy person. (I bet you are though! And that’s great!) I need my feet to feel firmly on the ground!
Links you would like to share e.g. website/facebook etc.
My website: https://www.lookpastdementia.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/marysue.moses/
https://facebook.com/profile.php?id=61590647100255
Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/marysuemoses/
BOOK TOUR DATES
Lovely chatting to you, Marysue. … and that’s ok you’re not a boots person! I forgive you 🤣🤣🤣
Linda. x
All photographs have been published with the kind permission of Marysue Moses.
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