I’m an avid armchair traveller. I enjoy reading travelogues, I enjoy all types of travel themed TV programmes; I like to look at holiday brochures; occasionally I actually like to visit and experience for myself places! For me, I like exploring and seeing new things and if I am not able to do so physically then I’m quite content to experience the adventure “virtually “. There are a lot of people like me and everybody has a different motive for wanting to travel. So, when I came across Tracy Smith’s book, “The Purpose Of Getting Lost”, I definitely enjoyed reading about her travel exploits (over 30 countries & 5 continents) but what really grabbed me was the reason for her travels – it was her personal story of finding herself and belonging. Before I introduce Tracy onto the blog, here’s a quick excerpt of The Purpose of Getting Lost …

EXCERPT: THE PURPOSE OF GETTING LOST

I was looking for something before I even had the words to know what it was I was looking for. Most of us start searching before we recognize the question driving us—the question that drives every journey. Mine was this: Where do I belong? 

It wasn’t a question I could answer from my couch in Chicago. So I went looking for answers—and found them in movement. I danced in mosh pits in Doha and sank in quicksand in the Amazon. I drank rice wine with the Hmong and laughed with strangers. I swam naked in the Caribbean and got lost in the streets of Reykjavík. 

The geography shifted, relationships rose and fell, and my body broke and healed. Through it all, belonging never announced itself—it only whispered. Not after the divorce that left me untethered, the kids who were growing up and away, or the friendships that faded when I stopped playing the part. 

For most of my life, I’d looked for belonging in other people—in marriage, in motherhood, inthe opinions of friends and family who always seemed just out of reach. I bent myself intoshapes I thought would make me acceptable. I smiled when I wanted to scream. I stayed when I wanted to run. 

What I’ve learned is that belonging isn’t something we wait for. It’s something we build—from the inside out.

THE INTERVIEW

Hi Tracy 👋 Welcome to the blog – please introduce yourself….

Hi, I’m Tracy Smith. Mother, daughter, colleague, friend. I’ve always loved to read. Nancy Drew, Judy Blume, and Beverly Cleary when I was a teenager. In college, I took my first anthropology course and was taken to a world that I never knew existed. One of the first books I remember reading was by Mark Mathabane, who wrote of growing up in South Africa. He followed his first book with a book about his sister, and then his mother. I was hooked. Today, I still love to read. Two of my favorite authors are John Grisham and John Sandford. But I also love to read non-fiction. I’ve recently discovered Erik Larson—the way he weaves facts through story-telling is a style I’d love to master.

The Purpose Of Getting Lost” has the subtitle “ A Story Of Finding Myself” What made you decide to write down your story? 

This title is very personal to me. Not only am I geographically challenged, and have found myself lost in a Barcelona plaza, the Reykjavik airport, and an Ireland field, but I was also lost before I ever went to any of those places. I’ve spent most of my life lost, not only was I not sure what I was supposed to do, but at some point, I realized, I didn’t even know who I was. Traveling has helped me find that person. The one who was lost as a teenager, a college student, as a mother. I wrote this book because I don’t think I am the only woman who has thought this about themselves. Since writing the book, I’ve had a friend booked a trip to China and another booked a trip to Italy. My mother told me, she often feels like she doesn’t belong. We’re not alone and I want women to know this.

Although the book is not a traditional travel story, it does involve travel nevertheless.  You’ve been to over 30 countries in 5 continents, experiencing cultures and landscapes vastly different from your home. When you first start to plan a trip, what criteria, if any, do you use to decide where in the world you are going to go? 

I always look for places and experiences where my stories will be different than the stories I hear back home. I found that in a souq in Doha or standing in the Sophia Hagia in Türkiye. Or when I cruised down the Kinabatangan River in Borneo, looking for orangutans flying high in the trees. It wasn’t until I wrote the book, and even after, when I started writing essays and talking with hosts, that I realized, I looked for places where I will not fit in. But early on, I didn’t know that. I just knew I needed different. So I don’t think I am looking for anything specific with the places I choose to go, but I do think I unconsciously choose places where my not belonging is a strength and not a weakness. 

 Your book highlighted for me how important it is for women to choose themselves, be accepted for who they are, being seen as an important part of the community and a feeling of belonging. I think your trip to Ireland stood out for me as one of the places you chose to do your own thing separately from the group on occasions, without feeling estranged from group, and you were accepted for who you were by them. What is it about travelling or even travel planning, that helps you through your toughest moments? 

Traveling is movement and movement is my default when I am struggling. When I am lying awake at night worried about work or an argument I had with someone or when I’m sitting at home, alone on the weekend, I start to Google. Flights, hotels, landmarks. And before I know it, hours have passed. But more importantly than the hours passing is that travel planning makes my brain forget that I am lonely. Sometimes it turns off the responses to the argument that I want to say and don’t—the ones that keep me awake at night. The momentum from planning reminds me I am someone who does things, who goes places, who chooses herself. And that reminder carries me further than any other trip could. 

Were there any aspects of writing your book that surprised you, either by being harder or easier to relate than you expected? 

It was far harder to write the book than I thought it would be. I’ve always loved words—the pictures they create, the feelings they can evoke. And given that I wrote academic content for a living, I thought that writing a book would come naturally to me. So when I decided to write the book, I downloaded my Facebook feed and thought I had a book. But the FB posts weren’t a story by themselves. When I realized that, I was forced to confront feelings and ideas that I had buried deep inside me years ago. But the wonderful part of writing the book is that I have discovered a new way of writing and it has led me to writing daily. Those words on paper now replace the never-ending thoughts that can keep me awake at night.

I loved your writing style and the honesty that shone through.  At times I felt alongside you in your travels – I loved your flirting in Iceland; I sympathised during what must have been an awkward trip in South Africa and I admired your stamina and perseverance in Peru – and I did find your escapades doing your laundry in the Peruvian Amazon amusing – although that sounds like something I would have done too! Did you find writing your story therapeutic? 

It was so therapeutic. Writing the book has been a love letter to myself. The words on paper reminded me that I am someone—someone that others see, like Minh in Vietnam or Carmen and Cheryl or Katinka in Belize. And it means so much because I went through life feeling like I was constantly being rejected. Writing the book reminded me that there are people who care about me. And it made moments that were hard, like South Africa easier to understand. Easier to remind myself: I am worthy of being loved and taking up space.

What advice would you give to someone hoping to travel solo?

Anyone can travel solo. But if they’re not comfortable with being alone or not willing to, traveling solo can be uncomfortable. One practical tip I would give to anyone traveling solo is to be a defensive “driver”. This means to simply be aware of your surroundings at all times—who is in front of you, on your sides, and behind you. But the deeper advice I would give anyone traveling solo is to learn to say yes to yourself. Because when you say yes to yourself, you remind yourself that you are someone. And when you remember that, you can begin to enjoy your own company, or take up a nice table at a restaurant, or sit in a plaza in Barcelona just watching people, even if you are doing it because you were lost.

You have travelled quite extensively across 5 continents – Any favourite destinations?  What’s top of your bucket list for future travels? Any place you have been to that didn’t quite meet your expectations?

Vietnam, Iceland, Copenhagen are definitely favorites. And I’ve now been to Vietnam five times (this last time for my friend’s wedding) and Iceland three times. Something about these places just makes me feel like I belong. My bucket list is gorilla trekking in Uganda, a cruise through Antarctica, and horseback riding in Mongolia. I didn’t love Paris. I wanted quaint European and instead I found wide streets and heavy food.

Is “The Purpose Of Getting Lost” available to purchase worldwide?

It is available to purchase worldwide and can be found on Amazon.

Personal now – what outfits and shoes would you normally be found wearing when travelling?

I tend to keep it casual. A pair of American Eagle jeans or jean shorts and a t-shirt or hoodie. Some of my favorites represent my kids’ colleges—Miami (OH), UVA, UR, and Illinois. On my feet are my Nike gym shoes, the only gym shoe I wear, or much to the chagrin of my friends and family, my trusty Birks. My Patagonia tote/ backpack is always present. It folds up into itself so can be thrown in my suitcase and then pulled out when I need it for shopping. And original earrings, though I tend to fall back on a pair of blue stone ones that I bought at a market in New Orleans twelve years ago.

Do you have any favourite shops or online sites?

Amazon because you can’t beat two-day shipping. But for bags, jewelry, and scarves, I always find those when I travel. I get great joy from supporting local entrepreneurs every opportunity I have and on more than one occasion, I’ve had to buy a second suitcase to hold all my finds.

What’s next on your clothes/shoe wish list?

My wish list is accessories. Bags: designer, handhelds, shoulder, crossbody, locally made and designed totes. Coach is my current favorite, and I find it difficult to walk past a Coach store and remain empty handed. When I travel, I almost always come home with scarves, blankets, and jewelry. I have an alpaca blanket from Peru, a sheep wool one from Morocco, and an indigo dyed one made from a Hmong family in SaPa. And on my current trip to Vietnam, I had a 100% silk gray and heaven blue áo dài handmade for my friend’s wedding.

Boots or Shoes?

I am a heels girl but those aren’t really great for walking 20,000 steps daily when traveling. So I tend to favor a cute tennis shoe. They also travel light and won’t make you hot in warm climates. Though I do have a few favorite pair of boots, one is a brown leather pair of ankle cowboy boots that I found in thrift store in Nashville. I’m obsessed with them. And recently I bought a pair of burgundy Steve Madden boots that my daughter has been begging me to let her wear.

Links you would like to share e.g. website/facebook etc

Facebook Geography of Connection project: https://www.facebook.com/thegeographyofconnection/

Facebook Travel stories: https://www.facebook.com/tracytravelseverywhere/

Substack: https://substack.com/@tracysmithphd

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tracytravelseverywhere/

Website: https://tracysmithauthor.com

BOOK TOUR DATES

So lovely to catch up with you, Tracy… and your bucket list trip of mountain gorilla trekking is on mine too! Thank you so much for inviting me onto your book tour and for sending me a review copy of The Purpose Of Getting Lost. I loved every second of reading it!

Linda x

Book cover & author photographs have been published with the kind permission of Tracy Smith.
Other photographs are by Linda Hobden, including the header photo of the desert area of Fuerteventura; and Ethan Hobden