“My Life In Thirty Seven Therapies: From Yoga to Hypnosis And Why Voodoo Is Never The Answer”. An intriguing title for a book. I thought so anyway when I received a complimentary copy to review. I won’t beat about the bush – I loved the book and eagerly devoured each chapter/ therapy. A strange feeling though – part memoir, part guide – about dealing with midlife crisis, menopause, professional burnout, relationships – and yet amongst the facts and seriousness there were comedic moments and on occasions, real belly laugh moments. Kay has written her book in such a way that I could imagine myself being there in that therapy room or group alongside her, experiencing it all too. It may have been the way she described her therapists, companions or therapies. I do know that some therapies I’m glad I was only virtually there, not experiencing the moment for real; and I admired Kay for being able to maintain a silent vigil at the silent retreat over the Christmas period. I don’t do silent!! I couldn’t leave just a review though, I just had to chat to Kay herself and ask her a few questions… Hi Kay!
Hi, I’m Kay Hutchison, I’m an author and I run a small independent publishing company ‘Belle Kids’ that publishes mainly children’s books. I had good career in radio and television after studying music and French at Glasgow University. I started working in Decca Records, worked as a producer for BBC Radio and moved across to tv with Channel 4, then leading the launch teams of Disney TV and Channel Five. I led the partnership that delivered a long term future for the Olympic Broadcast Centre. It’s now a thriving tv and production hub. After founding my own company Belle Media, I launched Belle Kids in 2015. We produce multi-platform, conservation-focussed content for children and are best known for the Tigeropolis series – fun stories with wildlife conservation at their heart.
Your book, “My Life In Thirty Seven Therapies: From Yoga To Hypnosis And Why Voodoo Is Never The Answer” is truly inspirational – I alternated between being fascinated by certain therapies, eg cupping; laughing out loud at others eg the voodoo episode; and admired your gutsiness when it came to enduring the silent retreat in Norfolk over Christmas. But what really made you decide to write about your experiences in the first place?
So glad you feel that way about the book!
What really made me decide to write about my experiences was preparing for a writing retreat in Wales. My friend had persuaded me to join her – she didn’t want to go alone and she knew I loved retreats. Somewhat worryingly, I discovered there was lots of writing homework. I was a bit wary as we were to bring samples of our work. However, I got stuck in – writing about subjects that interested me and I discovered that I loved writing about the many therapies I’d tried and about my childhood and what led to my meltdown and mid-life crisis. The course was led by the critically acclaimed English novelist Mavis Cheek. She taught us the importance of dialogue, characterisation and clear structure. She was very encouraging.
I enjoyed reading the book from start to finish. I liked how you wrote the book – the mix of your personal story, your people observations, your guide to the therapies and your sound advice. Your book is also published as an audiobook – I did listen to some excerpts on your YouTube channel. How did it feel recording and reading your own book?
I wasn’t sure what to expect in recording the audiobook. I was once a radio producer and so I was comfortable being in a studio together with technical and production experts. However, it was a totally different experience. Being shut away for hours at a time in the quiet of the sound-proofed studio with the just the producer on the other side of the glass, made the narration quite intense. I think it’s a different story as you can probably hear some emotion in my voice in certain places. It will be so interesting to know how readers react to the audiobook. Surely quite differently. Let’s see.
What was, for you, the hardest part(s) to write about?
Personal stories about my family, especially my father who I adored – struggling without my mother, becoming more dependent on alcohol to get through the day, being sad and alone as he aged and needed more care. It was also hard to write about my own personal failures – the loving relationship I thought I had with a man who turned out to be married. It brought it all back.
So, having been through 37 therapies, at least, you must have some particular favourites? Which was the weirdest? And, which therapy did you find overrated?
My favourite was the silent retreat. I think I’m someone who needs a lot of solitary time (just as well as I need that to write) although I only realised that after I lasted 10 days without saying a word. It was challenging but ultimately so liberating and I realised I could cope on my own after that somehow.
The weirdest was Voodoo – it’s only a small episode in the book but when you read it you will know why. It is right for some people but for me, it was an important experience as it helped me realise that I was recovering, I no longer needed the more unusual therapies to survive.
For me, the most overrated is colonic irrigation. Some of my friends absolutely swear by it and are perfectly comfortable having regular treatments. My view is that it was too expensive, too intrusive and I believe it could even be dangerous if not done really well by highly qualified professionals. But that’s just my own personal view of course. Always check with your GP!
I liked the frank way you described your experiences and that there was a lot of trial and error involved along the way. If somebody was going through a midlife crisis, menopause or professional burnout, which therapies would you recommend?
Midlife crisis, menopause and professional burnout are such different things. They can be all mixed up together – which was my experience – but if I had to recommend something for all three, it would be yoga without a doubt. Yoga helps with menopausal symptoms as it is healthy physical exercise, combined with breathing control and requires good mental focus. These are all helpful but I should say I also take HRT now which solves so many of the symptoms like hot flushes, sleeplessness and mood swings.
Professional burnout requires you to be aware of changes in your work behaviour that are not healthy. Often this is overworking and not being able to stop, being out of control. There are so many ways to deal with this – NLP, CBT, Skyros retreats in Greece are wonderful as they actually focus on burnout or more precisely life change.
Midlife Crisis sometimes doesn’t happen – I have some friends who have no clue what I’m talking about as they have sailed through it or are currently sailing through. For me, it’s when everything falls apart – work, relationships, stability. The great thing is that there are so many therapies that can help you out there – find something that appeals to you and start there. Perhaps try Reiki or Reflexology – they are wonderful healing treatments that allow you to take a step back and have someone look after you. Get a recommendation from a friend or look up the organisations that regulate the practitioners to be sure you’re getting the best treatment. For example the Reiki Council, the Association of Reflexologists.
It must have been tough for you when you decided & suddenly realised you wanted to live alone and leave your husband after so many years. What was the hardest thing to leave behind?
The hardest thing to leave behind was the stability and balance of life. Everything was normal, everything was in place (we were married, we had a beautiful home, we were both relatively successful in our jobs). Everything was in place – accepted and expected to always be that way by our friends and family. It was terrible to have to try to explain why I would wish to leave such normality and to start again.
So, what do you do to relax and de-stress nowadays? Are there any new therapies you’re tempted to try out?
Yoga and massage are the two constants in my life. I like different yoga classes with different teachers as they are always different – some more traditional, some modern with music being important, others who like to run gong baths afterwards. Massage helps me unwind if I need to clear my head and recover after a long writing session (often stiff back results).
I am still interested, still learning. Alexander technique is one on the physical side – it helps posture and works to improve the structure of the spine which changes as you get older. On the spiritual side I have recently tried Akashic Records – I would describe this as a library that contains all of life’s events, each person’s life records. A good practitioner can access these records and answer questions that you have about yourpast, your life and future direction. In my first session a message from my grandfather was conveyed to me – it made complete sense to me as he wanted me to ensure that his legacy was not forgotten; he was a well-known Scottish footballer who, after the war became known as the first ‘audio-describer’ for the blind. He took blind war veterans to football matches and described the action for the groups. I remember helping my gran make sandwiches for the group.
Is “My Life In Thirty Seven Therapies” available to purchase worldwide?
Yes the books are available in the big bookshops like Foyles and Waterstones as well as online (kindle and Amazon) and the new audiobook is available via Audible and will soon be available on streaming services like Spotify and Deezer.
Personal now – what outfits and shoes would you normally be found wearing?
I have a lot of well made, classic suits and dresses that I have had for a few years. I look after my clothes and occasionally have them altered so that they last and are a really good fit. I like figure-hugging dresses or cropped trousers with a roomy coat or jacket over the top. I have lots of scarfs to add a little extra colour (and to keep me warm) but I generally like a simple, pared-down look.
Do you have any favourite shops or online sites?
I love browsing in big department stores where they have so many different brands in once place. I like Massimo Dutti for something special, but if I’m in a rush for something I’ll go to Zara, Hobbs or L.K.Bennett as their sizes usually fit my shape quite well.
What’s next on your clothes/shoe wish list?
I would like a pair of toe-cap slingback shoes in nude and black. They are flattering especially if, like me, you’re not very tall. I saw a pair of these on Audrey A La Mode and Russell & Bromley have a similar-looking pair so I will probably buy those.
Boots or Shoes?
I have a large collection of boots in lots of different styles and fabrics but really only two main colours – black and brown. I find boots are really versatile and work equally well for business meetings or going out (usually lace-up ankle boots with a decent heel or long sleek leather or suede boots with a small heel). I also like calf-length, low heel boots for casual walks so I spend quite a bit of the year with my feet hidden away. I always feel comfortable in boots.
Links you would like to share e.g. website/facebook etc
Thanks so much Kay for agreeing to be interviewed and it was a pleasure to receive your book, too. I must say that I am short as well and I totally agree with you about sling back shoes – I love them. Currently I have pairs in black, black & white, and navy. I did covet a pair in coral recently … might need to add them to my collection!
All photographs have been published with kind permission of Kay Hutchison